Regarding Mothers


Yesterday, I was looking through the photos in my hard drive–trying to find a photo to use in my mother’s day post in Facebook. I was looking for a really old photo of my mother and I because I haven’t been photogenic for the last 3 years or so. As I browsed folder after folder of photos, I realized that aside from my biological mother, I’ve had many other ‘mothers’ in my life.

And they also deserve to be recognized on such a day as today (which, as I learned, is not the historical date mother’s day is celebrated in the Philippines. But that is another story that you can find HERE).

First on this list is one who’ll probably be the first to protest such greeting, only because she revels in her single-ness. My aunt, Emy. Our relationship has evolved through the years but the one thing that she has been consistent with is her unwavering support for me, especially at my lowest point.

(L-R): my aunt, me, my late papa, mama

(L-R): my aunt, me, my late papa, mama

The second is my late grandmother Vicki. She had been the number one fan of my writing. She encouraged me at a young age to use my imagination and creativity–throwing her full support behind my writing and artistic talents, or skills. When my first book comes out, it will be dedicated to her.

at Lemery, Batangas, summer of '84

at Lemery, Batangas, summer of ’84

Third is one person I’ve known for more than 10 years, and I fondly call her Inang Ruthy. She’s been my mentor, collaborator, friend, and conscience. I look up to her intellect, integrity, and love of others. Knowing her has made me strive to become the best version of myself.

at a training in Tagaytay, August 2004

at a training in Tagaytay, August 2004

I have met many others who I regard as ‘motherly’, especially when I lived in Cambodia. When I met the mother of my good friend Derick, I was immediately drawn to her because her demeanor reminded me of my late grandmother.

with Mama Zoe in Koh Kong, 2007

with Mama Zoe in Koh Kong, 2007

During my last months in Phnom Penh, the company of these women kept my fragile mental well-being intact. I haven’t really thanked both of them properly, especially Tita Lou, but I’m hoping I get the chance to do so someday.

(L-R) me, tita lou, ms badette

(L-R) me, tita lou, ms badette

And last but not the least, my real and only biological mother. I remember this quote from Oscar Wilde that goes, “Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” Certainly, my mother and I have gone through many things together, especially in the last three years. We are working out things between us–probably forgive the past, so we can move towards our future.

with my bio-mom

with my bio-mom

Happy Mother’s Day!

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About the pensive poet

development worker. kasuyo. bugtong na anak. retired drag queen. kalaguyo. kaibigan. future carpenter, bread-maker, or bar-tender. feeling manunulat at makata. borderline obsessive-compulsive. control freak. book worm. isnabero. mahiyain. astang cineaste. aspiring photographer.

Posted on May 12, 2013, in events, journal and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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